You know how when you have a baby you automatically get tons of emails that give you week by week recaps of where your baby should be. Well my inbox has been overflowing with all these National Breastfeeding week ideas, stories, and comments on how this is the best thing you can do for your baby.
I understand that breastfeeding is the absolute best nutrition you can offer your child. It is a miracle really. That my body can create life juice for another human being is just amazing and obviously something that is natural and how God intended for things to be. So I understand that breastfeeding is best. But what if you were like me....what if you hated every minute of it????
That's right, I couldn't handle it. Not only could I not handle it...but I really really didn't enjoy it. This week I have read stories about how great breast feeding is for bonding time and cuddles with you and your baby. Really...I would rather not cuddle with my sweet boy at 2 am with him attached to me. It wasn't special for me. What was special is that sometimes at the 2 am feeding my husband could get up and give him some food.
I've also read about the convenience of breastfeeding. You have it available anytime you need it. That was horrible for me. I didn't want to have to be available anytime he needed me. (That really sounds more harsh than I mean...I want to be there anytime he needs me...just not as a source of food) I sure wasn't going to pull up my shirt in the corner of Target to let him chow down. What was convenient for me was that I could take a bottle of water and pour in some food and he could chow down while walking down the aisle at Target if we needed to. (Yes...I have done this once...please don't judge...it was kind of perfect he was happy and fed and I got shopping done. :)
Not to mention that breastfeeding is hard work. Any mom out there knows what I'm talking about, and having a newborn is hard enough and being a food supply on top of that...it was overwhelming for me. I don't know how my friends with more that one kid at home do it...you are amazing! There are other reasons I can think of too, but they may be more personal for a blog. :)
Is breastfeeding best. YES. Was it best for Fletcher and I??? Absolutely not. I still have a little guilt at times, especially during National Breastfeeding week, that I couldn't cut it. But then I remember he is just fine and I am much happier which in turn gave me a happier baby. It took some time for his tummy to adjust, but we are starting foods and it is taking time for his tummy to adjust to that too.
If you are a breastfeeding mom reading this please know I think you are amazing, and a part of me wishes I could do what you are doing, but it just didn't work for us. So I'm thankful for the creation of formula and proud I have a baby that is thriving on this powdery goodness. So from now on I just delete all the emails that start with breastfeeding and know I'm doing what is best for us.