So Long Summer...See you next year!

This summer has gotten better everyday. It was full of firsts for David, Fletcher, and I. The first taste of baby food, first swim, first trip with and without baby, and the first time I will go back to school with a 5 month old. I have enjoyed this summer so much, but a small part of me is ready for volleyball season and for the school year. I have struggled this summer with the idea of going back to work. Not because I don't love love love my job, but because volleyball season means less time at home and less time with my little (and big) man. I have also struggled with the fact that I am excited about going back to work, because I love my job. ( Shouldn't I be depressed to leave my baby?) It is a strange balance I am learning to adjust to.   However, this last week I have had such a peace about it all. I know it won't be easy, and there will be days when the only time I will see him is through the baby monitor as he is already asleep when I get home. (Those days will stink).

What I have come to realize is that I have been blessed with a job that is not only a means to an end but a true calling in my life. I struggle because I know I am also called to be a good mom and wife.  I always said if my job gets in the way of that I'm done. However, we are learning how to make my family a part of that calling. (Maybe it is just a way of making me feel a little less guilty for not being at home with Fletcher all the time) But the reality of it is we both need to work, so we will make it work for the benefit of Fletcher, and he will and has already learned how to eat, sleep, and run around in gyms.  Sometimes I can't wrap my head around the fact that  I will spend more time with someone else's child than my own, but the time my family does have together will be that much better.

And lets face it...there is no way I could do what I love to do without the support of my loving, understanding, and selfless husband. Those nights that I have cried because I'm scared my son will forget who I am, he reassures me that everything is going to be just fine...not easy...but will be fine. And those nights I am excited about getting back, he celebrates that with me.  He knows how to comfort me without sugar coating anything, and is a dad that loves being with his boy. He sacrifices time to himself to be with his boy and told me he will do his best to make sure Fletcher gets to as many games as possible. We both believe it is important for him to see us working and doing what we love.

So am I ready? I am. I will find ways to make our time together that much more special...summer times will be full of playtime...and my boy will probably get rocked to sleep more than he should. (don't tell babywise. :)

And if we get too busy we will just leave Fletcher with the dogs. :)