You know how when you have a baby you automatically get tons of emails that give you week by week recaps of where your baby should be. Well my inbox has been overflowing with all these National Breastfeeding week ideas, stories, and comments on how this is the best thing you can do for your baby.
I understand that breastfeeding is the absolute best nutrition you can offer your child. It is a miracle really. That my body can create life juice for another human being is just amazing and obviously something that is natural and how God intended for things to be. So I understand that breastfeeding is best. But what if you were like me....what if you hated every minute of it????
That's right, I couldn't handle it. Not only could I not handle it...but I really really didn't enjoy it. This week I have read stories about how great breast feeding is for bonding time and cuddles with you and your baby. Really...I would rather not cuddle with my sweet boy at 2 am with him attached to me. It wasn't special for me. What was special is that sometimes at the 2 am feeding my husband could get up and give him some food.
I've also read about the convenience of breastfeeding. You have it available anytime you need it. That was horrible for me. I didn't want to have to be available anytime he needed me. (That really sounds more harsh than I mean...I want to be there anytime he needs me...just not as a source of food) I sure wasn't going to pull up my shirt in the corner of Target to let him chow down. What was convenient for me was that I could take a bottle of water and pour in some food and he could chow down while walking down the aisle at Target if we needed to. (Yes...I have done this once...please don't judge...it was kind of perfect he was happy and fed and I got shopping done. :)
Not to mention that breastfeeding is hard work. Any mom out there knows what I'm talking about, and having a newborn is hard enough and being a food supply on top of that...it was overwhelming for me. I don't know how my friends with more that one kid at home do it...you are amazing! There are other reasons I can think of too, but they may be more personal for a blog. :)
Is breastfeeding best. YES. Was it best for Fletcher and I??? Absolutely not. I still have a little guilt at times, especially during National Breastfeeding week, that I couldn't cut it. But then I remember he is just fine and I am much happier which in turn gave me a happier baby. It took some time for his tummy to adjust, but we are starting foods and it is taking time for his tummy to adjust to that too.
If you are a breastfeeding mom reading this please know I think you are amazing, and a part of me wishes I could do what you are doing, but it just didn't work for us. So I'm thankful for the creation of formula and proud I have a baby that is thriving on this powdery goodness. So from now on I just delete all the emails that start with breastfeeding and know I'm doing what is best for us.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
So Long Summer...See you next year!
This summer has gotten better everyday. It was full of firsts for David, Fletcher, and I. The first taste of baby food, first swim, first trip with and without baby, and the first time I will go back to school with a 5 month old. I have enjoyed this summer so much, but a small part of me is ready for volleyball season and for the school year. I have struggled this summer with the idea of going back to work. Not because I don't love love love my job, but because volleyball season means less time at home and less time with my little (and big) man. I have also struggled with the fact that I am excited about going back to work, because I love my job. ( Shouldn't I be depressed to leave my baby?) It is a strange balance I am learning to adjust to. However, this last week I have had such a peace about it all. I know it won't be easy, and there will be days when the only time I will see him is through the baby monitor as he is already asleep when I get home. (Those days will stink).
What I have come to realize is that I have been blessed with a job that is not only a means to an end but a true calling in my life. I struggle because I know I am also called to be a good mom and wife. I always said if my job gets in the way of that I'm done. However, we are learning how to make my family a part of that calling. (Maybe it is just a way of making me feel a little less guilty for not being at home with Fletcher all the time) But the reality of it is we both need to work, so we will make it work for the benefit of Fletcher, and he will and has already learned how to eat, sleep, and run around in gyms. Sometimes I can't wrap my head around the fact that I will spend more time with someone else's child than my own, but the time my family does have together will be that much better.
And lets face it...there is no way I could do what I love to do without the support of my loving, understanding, and selfless husband. Those nights that I have cried because I'm scared my son will forget who I am, he reassures me that everything is going to be just fine...not easy...but will be fine. And those nights I am excited about getting back, he celebrates that with me. He knows how to comfort me without sugar coating anything, and is a dad that loves being with his boy. He sacrifices time to himself to be with his boy and told me he will do his best to make sure Fletcher gets to as many games as possible. We both believe it is important for him to see us working and doing what we love.
So am I ready? I am. I will find ways to make our time together that much more special...summer times will be full of playtime...and my boy will probably get rocked to sleep more than he should. (don't tell babywise. :)
And if we get too busy we will just leave Fletcher with the dogs. :)
What I have come to realize is that I have been blessed with a job that is not only a means to an end but a true calling in my life. I struggle because I know I am also called to be a good mom and wife. I always said if my job gets in the way of that I'm done. However, we are learning how to make my family a part of that calling. (Maybe it is just a way of making me feel a little less guilty for not being at home with Fletcher all the time) But the reality of it is we both need to work, so we will make it work for the benefit of Fletcher, and he will and has already learned how to eat, sleep, and run around in gyms. Sometimes I can't wrap my head around the fact that I will spend more time with someone else's child than my own, but the time my family does have together will be that much better.
And lets face it...there is no way I could do what I love to do without the support of my loving, understanding, and selfless husband. Those nights that I have cried because I'm scared my son will forget who I am, he reassures me that everything is going to be just fine...not easy...but will be fine. And those nights I am excited about getting back, he celebrates that with me. He knows how to comfort me without sugar coating anything, and is a dad that loves being with his boy. He sacrifices time to himself to be with his boy and told me he will do his best to make sure Fletcher gets to as many games as possible. We both believe it is important for him to see us working and doing what we love.
So am I ready? I am. I will find ways to make our time together that much more special...summer times will be full of playtime...and my boy will probably get rocked to sleep more than he should. (don't tell babywise. :)
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Why 3???
A couple of years ago David and I were sitting in his brothers living room, and his older ,wiser, yet much smaller big brother :) said something about starting to try for number 3. David and I glanced at each other and I so kindly blurted out WHY? It really wasn't meant as a why...you can barley handle the two you have...but more of a why would you want a third your other two children are perfect. You have a boy and a girl that are cute, well behaved, intelligent...why mess that streak up? I mean really. It was beyond me why anyone would want more children than they have bedrooms in their house. (John and Molly please keep reading...it gets better)
Fast forward to May 2, 2011. The world is graced with Miss Sunny Hunt. A tiny little thing compared to my huge headed rolly polly born just two months before. So now the older Hunt brother has a four year old, three year old, and a newborn. WOW! Still I'm thinking this is stressful....Why?
Well the passed few weeks I've been able to hang out with the other Hunts more...and I'll tell you Why? They were made for this! They should totally be a family of 5...there is no doubt in my mind now. Stressful?... at times....Painful?...only when all three plus mine are screaming at the same time...Fun?...absolutely....just think of the fun those three will have in just a year. Molly is a fantastic mom of three and balances a fussy newborn plus two little ones all day long.(I could never do that) I mean there is chaos...don't get me wrong. But when I've been around it is such fun chaos. I love dinner time at the Hunt house, playing with the big kids while I try to keep my baby awake, and they try to make their baby go to sleep. That is the best chaos I've ever been a part of!
So to John and Molly...sorry I doubted...you two were made for this. Now will David and I ever be a family of 5....don't hold your breath. :) But we don't need to be; Fletcher can just grow up pretending Miles, Lucy, and Sunny are his siblings. :)
Fast forward to May 2, 2011. The world is graced with Miss Sunny Hunt. A tiny little thing compared to my huge headed rolly polly born just two months before. So now the older Hunt brother has a four year old, three year old, and a newborn. WOW! Still I'm thinking this is stressful....Why?
Well the passed few weeks I've been able to hang out with the other Hunts more...and I'll tell you Why? They were made for this! They should totally be a family of 5...there is no doubt in my mind now. Stressful?... at times....Painful?...only when all three plus mine are screaming at the same time...Fun?...absolutely....just think of the fun those three will have in just a year. Molly is a fantastic mom of three and balances a fussy newborn plus two little ones all day long.(I could never do that) I mean there is chaos...don't get me wrong. But when I've been around it is such fun chaos. I love dinner time at the Hunt house, playing with the big kids while I try to keep my baby awake, and they try to make their baby go to sleep. That is the best chaos I've ever been a part of!
So to John and Molly...sorry I doubted...you two were made for this. Now will David and I ever be a family of 5....don't hold your breath. :) But we don't need to be; Fletcher can just grow up pretending Miles, Lucy, and Sunny are his siblings. :)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
What are you doing this summer?
The first question most people ask this time of year is "What are you doing this summer?" My response is usually about a little vacation David and I are taking or how I'm catching up on all the "stuff" I didn't accomplish during the school year. I usually have a project for the house or make myself plant some flowers (that usually die a week later.) I spend some time in the gym and a little time laying by the pool catching up on some reading I didn't have time for. This summer is a little bit different. I am spending it with a little boy. So when people ask what I'm doing...here you go...
1. Learning how to nap in a crib. :) He does great at night...but naps are a differnt story. (I guess I shouldn't complain much because he sleeps at night. :) Most of the time anyway)
2. Trying some rice cereal. I hear this will eventually lead to a more sophisticated palette. :)
3. Those trips we make to the pool will be much shorter than I'm used to and I learned today are followed by a soggy poopy diaper. :)
4. I'm learning how to occupy a baby in a grocery store, shopping mall, or sing loudly enough it will confuse him into stop crying in the car.
My summers until this point have been catching up on relaxing and keeping my house much cleaner than during the school year. But...there is not much relaxing with an infant and my house definitely is not cleaner and projects have gone out the window :) But we are having fun.
Here is a glimps into some of our summer fun so far..
Sometimes we bounce for ever just to get a smile.
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1. Learning how to nap in a crib. :) He does great at night...but naps are a differnt story. (I guess I shouldn't complain much because he sleeps at night. :) Most of the time anyway)
2. Trying some rice cereal. I hear this will eventually lead to a more sophisticated palette. :)
3. Those trips we make to the pool will be much shorter than I'm used to and I learned today are followed by a soggy poopy diaper. :)
4. I'm learning how to occupy a baby in a grocery store, shopping mall, or sing loudly enough it will confuse him into stop crying in the car.
My summers until this point have been catching up on relaxing and keeping my house much cleaner than during the school year. But...there is not much relaxing with an infant and my house definitely is not cleaner and projects have gone out the window :) But we are having fun.
Here is a glimps into some of our summer fun so far..
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| Loves Bath time |
Sometimes we bounce for ever just to get a smile.
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| Watching the Mavs before bed |
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| Thinks the pool is okay |
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Sunday, May 8, 2011
8 Weeks 3 Days
I have a little boy that is 8 weeks and 3 days old...that is amazing to me. There are days it seems like he has been around a year, and other days I pick him up and can't believe that he barley fits in my arms. Or when I strap him in the baby carrier he is a little bit heavier than the last time. I'm becoming increasingly thankful for the hard days, becuase those have brought an appreciation for parenting and my little boy that I can't even express in words. Thanks Fletcher James for the things you are teaching your mom and dad. God knew what he was doing when he sent you to us. There are so many words that use to define me and even my relationship with David, but those do not seem as important now. What is important is this heart aching unconditional love I feel for you. What is important is how you have brought your dad and I closer and more appreciative of each other. What is important is how I relay the love of Christ to you. It is a big and scary job...but I am so blessed that God has allowed me to be your mom.
The last eight weeks have seemed like a whirlwind and have not been like anything I expected them to be. I expected a baby that fit all the books I read; I was blessed with a baby that has such a strong (it seems independent personality...yes I think this at 8 weeks old) that loves to be entertained non-stop and might sleep a little here and there. :) I have been blessed by a baby that is ok with pretty much anyone who holds him, which is good as he will grow up being passed around in loud gyms. :) Without my family and friends at work, the transition back to work would not have been as smooth. I'm so thankful that so many people are willing to support David and I as we learn how to raise our little boy.
We have had several good friends that have all had babies within the last two months, and I'm so excited for the day we can get all the sweet babies together. (Yes...Carter, Jude, and Sunny...I believe you three may rule the world along with Fletcher one day!) It has been a great first mother's day, and I'm so thankful that I got to spend it with my family and the most precious little boy.
The last eight weeks have seemed like a whirlwind and have not been like anything I expected them to be. I expected a baby that fit all the books I read; I was blessed with a baby that has such a strong (it seems independent personality...yes I think this at 8 weeks old) that loves to be entertained non-stop and might sleep a little here and there. :) I have been blessed by a baby that is ok with pretty much anyone who holds him, which is good as he will grow up being passed around in loud gyms. :) Without my family and friends at work, the transition back to work would not have been as smooth. I'm so thankful that so many people are willing to support David and I as we learn how to raise our little boy.
We have had several good friends that have all had babies within the last two months, and I'm so excited for the day we can get all the sweet babies together. (Yes...Carter, Jude, and Sunny...I believe you three may rule the world along with Fletcher one day!) It has been a great first mother's day, and I'm so thankful that I got to spend it with my family and the most precious little boy.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
1 month
Fletcher is 1 month old today. I can't believe we have a one month old. It has been challenging and one of the biggest blessings ever given to us. Just when I think I can't do it anymore, he will grab my finger or look at me with his big blue eyes and I fall in love a little bit more. Fletcher you are a gift and you definitley were sent to us at exactly the right time. Thank you God for the love and lessons we are experiencing as a family.
Check out the size difference from one of his first baths to his bath last night. He actually enjoyed the bath last night.
There are days that you give us fits and we can't stop you're crying... but we do the best we can.
There are lots of people (and animals) that love you so much. You're mom and dad are very thankful for the community of support we have in raising you.
Happy 1 Month Fletcher James Hunt. We can't wait to see what the next month brings.
Check out the size difference from one of his first baths to his bath last night. He actually enjoyed the bath last night.
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| About 2 Weeks Old...and hating it! |
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| 1 month old and enjoying bath time |
There are days that you give us fits and we can't stop you're crying... but we do the best we can.
There are lots of people (and animals) that love you so much. You're mom and dad are very thankful for the community of support we have in raising you.
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| Lots of Grandparent love |
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| Aunt Rosie and Uncle T-Bill can't wait to keep you. :) |
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| Olive wants to play |
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| So many babysitters to choose from |
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| Penny wants to kiss you all the time |
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| Uncle John, Aunt Molly, Miles, Lucy and Sunny are going to be so much fun to play with! |
Happy 1 Month Fletcher James Hunt. We can't wait to see what the next month brings.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Oh The Conversations We Have
I think one of the biggest changes for David and I have been the conversations we have had for the past three weeks. It makes me laugh thinking about it. :) What use to be questions about our day, the students we worked with, or where we want to grab dinner that night has changed to questions about how is the formula working out, how fussy was he today, or most recently has he pooped yet. Yes, it seems that the last two days have been a constant search for that looming monstrous poop we know is coming that just hasn't happened yet. Our poor little guy is backed up.
Not only have conversations changed, but our fun weekend outings are much different now.Weekends use to be marked by sleeping a little later, maybe a motorcycle ride, and some small chores, but we sold the motorcycle in preparation for Fletcher, and this weekend we actually went to three different stores to price diapers and formula. Yes, that is what we did to get out of the house. We also had lunch at the park today...which was nice...but probably too windy for a three week old. :) Oh the things we learn as we go. :)
Tonight as I sat holding my little man and watching aTm beat Stanford in the Women's Final Four, I didn't find myself mourning what was lost but thanking God for what we've gained. Instead of trying to find something to do on the weekends, we now experience the same old stuff we use to do but with a fresh outlook because we are experiencing it for the first time with Fletcher. Even though he has been fussy today because he has a tummy ache...we are experiencing it together as a first.
Not to say I won't wish for some peace and quiet every now and then, but then I'm reminded that this is a great experience because it is a first with Fletcher. So, whether it is lunch at the park on a windy day or trying to pray for that big poop through my son's tears of discomfort...I thank God for these sweet first times, and I pray that I continue to cherish these memories with our family, because I won't get to have them with anyone else.
Not only have conversations changed, but our fun weekend outings are much different now.Weekends use to be marked by sleeping a little later, maybe a motorcycle ride, and some small chores, but we sold the motorcycle in preparation for Fletcher, and this weekend we actually went to three different stores to price diapers and formula. Yes, that is what we did to get out of the house. We also had lunch at the park today...which was nice...but probably too windy for a three week old. :) Oh the things we learn as we go. :)
Tonight as I sat holding my little man and watching aTm beat Stanford in the Women's Final Four, I didn't find myself mourning what was lost but thanking God for what we've gained. Instead of trying to find something to do on the weekends, we now experience the same old stuff we use to do but with a fresh outlook because we are experiencing it for the first time with Fletcher. Even though he has been fussy today because he has a tummy ache...we are experiencing it together as a first.
Not to say I won't wish for some peace and quiet every now and then, but then I'm reminded that this is a great experience because it is a first with Fletcher. So, whether it is lunch at the park on a windy day or trying to pray for that big poop through my son's tears of discomfort...I thank God for these sweet first times, and I pray that I continue to cherish these memories with our family, because I won't get to have them with anyone else.
Monday, March 28, 2011
We are figuring each other out
So, I have been a mom for about 18 days. When I put it like that, I realize it hasn't been very long at all...but it seems like he was born a year ago. Is that possible? I guess it is lack of sleep and trying to figure out what this little human being needs. It is amazing how you instantly fall in love with someone the minute they are placed in your lap. It is one of the most overwhelming, cool, and scariest experiences I've ever had. It is also one of the hardest things I've ever done. So for the past 18 days this is what I've learned.
1. I can't imagine doing this by myself without David by my side. As I watch him with our son I fall in love with both of them a little more everyday. We are learning together this is a hard job...and it has already began to strengthen our marriage.
2. As I am a mom, I think I have learned to appreciate my mother more. I don't know what I would do without her. I have cried to her, laughed with her, called her in the middle of the night, and she has done nothing but listen with open arms...hug when she needs to and tell me to buck up it will be okay when she needs to. :) I've learned that even though I am a mom...I still need my mom!
3. I am a person that likes to have a plan and know what is happening next, and Mr. Fletcher is teaching me that sometimes plans don't work out and you figure things out as they come. God is teaching me so much through this little guy, and that is one of the biggest. You think you are not a selfish person, and then you have a baby and realize how YOU driven your life has been. I've done what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it...and now...everything is on hold for him. It is a sweet lesson and one that I think most parents go through...(if you haven't don't tell me because I will feel guilty. ) When I put him to bed at night I read over Jermiah 29:11 that hangs above his crib...and thank God that He has a plan and it is okay if I don't know what it is.
4. It hit me the other night that I will be this boys momma for the rest of my life. I know it sounds funny...but so many titles that have defined a big part of who I am will change. I may not always be an English teacher, volleyball coach, student, friends will change...Heck..I may not even be David's wife for the rest of my life. (Although, I'm very confidnet I will be...no worries) :) But...I will be Fletcher James mom for the rest of my life...nothing will change that. That is so humbling and overwhelming. Mom is a title you hold for life. Nothing is more rewarding and nothing scare me more. :)
So...18 days in and it seems like I've learned more lessons in these 18 days than I have my entire life. Let's see what the next 18 days will hold...I hope more sleep comes with it. :)
1. I can't imagine doing this by myself without David by my side. As I watch him with our son I fall in love with both of them a little more everyday. We are learning together this is a hard job...and it has already began to strengthen our marriage.
2. As I am a mom, I think I have learned to appreciate my mother more. I don't know what I would do without her. I have cried to her, laughed with her, called her in the middle of the night, and she has done nothing but listen with open arms...hug when she needs to and tell me to buck up it will be okay when she needs to. :) I've learned that even though I am a mom...I still need my mom!
3. I am a person that likes to have a plan and know what is happening next, and Mr. Fletcher is teaching me that sometimes plans don't work out and you figure things out as they come. God is teaching me so much through this little guy, and that is one of the biggest. You think you are not a selfish person, and then you have a baby and realize how YOU driven your life has been. I've done what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it...and now...everything is on hold for him. It is a sweet lesson and one that I think most parents go through...(if you haven't don't tell me because I will feel guilty. ) When I put him to bed at night I read over Jermiah 29:11 that hangs above his crib...and thank God that He has a plan and it is okay if I don't know what it is.
4. It hit me the other night that I will be this boys momma for the rest of my life. I know it sounds funny...but so many titles that have defined a big part of who I am will change. I may not always be an English teacher, volleyball coach, student, friends will change...Heck..I may not even be David's wife for the rest of my life. (Although, I'm very confidnet I will be...no worries) :) But...I will be Fletcher James mom for the rest of my life...nothing will change that. That is so humbling and overwhelming. Mom is a title you hold for life. Nothing is more rewarding and nothing scare me more. :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
He's Here
Well...I started this blog in January to help me put my head around everything that is about to happen and change in our life...I thought that bed rest was going to do me in...so I had to get my thoughts down. Now Fletcher James has arrived healthy and strong. When I look back I can't help but thank God that he has given us a healthy baby boy. He arrived just a few weeks early instead of two months early. He really is a good baby. We are counting our blessings everyday.
With that said...this is one of the hardest things we have ever done. Not to say we don't absoultley love our little man and think he is perfect...but I don't think new parents have any idea about how much their life will change. I worry about how much he is eating and sleeping. I would love for more sleep at night..but when he sleeps longer I wonder if something is wrong. My body is not completley healed from the C-Section...so I tell myself all the time it will be easier when you are 100%. I'm sure it will be...but I know the worry will never stop. It is this on going process that I guess will be continuing the rest of our life. :) God is teaching us so much about loving Him and trusting in His knowledge and will. My sister painted a great verse we have hung above his crib....Jeremiah 29:11...I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
I almost feel that verse has become cliche because it is used so often, but when I read it in the light of raising our little guy...I'm so thankful that God knows...because I'm at a loss. I have no idea what the future holds, and that scares me to death. I love having things planned out and figured out ahead of time. But as I have spent a week and a half with my son; I'm learning that I have nothing figured out and that can drive me insane. Until I think about Jeremiah 29:11. I don't have to know...I just have to trust. It is amazing how much a week old newborn can teach you...but he is blowing me away!!!
I'm so thankful for the support of my wonderful husband and family. I don't know where I would be without them. They have done little things...like vaccuming my house that have helped to keep me from going crazy. David and I look forward to the first time he smiles at us or can give us a hug back. I'm sure there is nothing better.
With that said...this is one of the hardest things we have ever done. Not to say we don't absoultley love our little man and think he is perfect...but I don't think new parents have any idea about how much their life will change. I worry about how much he is eating and sleeping. I would love for more sleep at night..but when he sleeps longer I wonder if something is wrong. My body is not completley healed from the C-Section...so I tell myself all the time it will be easier when you are 100%. I'm sure it will be...but I know the worry will never stop. It is this on going process that I guess will be continuing the rest of our life. :) God is teaching us so much about loving Him and trusting in His knowledge and will. My sister painted a great verse we have hung above his crib....Jeremiah 29:11...I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
I almost feel that verse has become cliche because it is used so often, but when I read it in the light of raising our little guy...I'm so thankful that God knows...because I'm at a loss. I have no idea what the future holds, and that scares me to death. I love having things planned out and figured out ahead of time. But as I have spent a week and a half with my son; I'm learning that I have nothing figured out and that can drive me insane. Until I think about Jeremiah 29:11. I don't have to know...I just have to trust. It is amazing how much a week old newborn can teach you...but he is blowing me away!!!
I'm so thankful for the support of my wonderful husband and family. I don't know where I would be without them. They have done little things...like vaccuming my house that have helped to keep me from going crazy. David and I look forward to the first time he smiles at us or can give us a hug back. I'm sure there is nothing better.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I think I'm a little paranoid...
Well...we made it to the 34 mark week...so if he comes....he comes. At this point I was able to go back to work and come off of bed rest. Fletcher James is still growing strong. He is very healthy. Just wearing his mom out. I've been back to work for a week. While I love being there, I do get pretty worn out. I'm so thankful that I work with such great people.
Every time I start feeling sorry for myself thinking about how much time I've already spent in the hospital, or how I don't have enough days left at work to make it a full maternity leave, or how bad I feel having these little or sometimes big contractions all day long. (The doctor said I will probably just have these until I deliver). I am reminded how blessed I am daily. Our baby boy is still healthy, and may go full term. I am surrounded by so many people that have showered us with love, support, help and baby gifts. I have no reason to feel sorry for myself, but I should be praising God for the blessings in my life.
With that said there were several times today that I thought it was the delivery day. I think I'm becoming more paranoid with every minute. Maybe it's because I keep having contractions, or maybe it is because one of my friends delivered her baby at home this week. (Not on purpose by the way). So I'm becoming more paranoid the closer the due date gets. (March 29th)
The first sign I thought I had in the car. I was driving home and felt this rush of water running down my seat. I thought...wow this is it. My water just broke in the car...but then I thought this can't be enough. I look to my right and see that my water bottle has spilled pouring water all in my lap. I couldn't stop laughing. So false alarm #1 for today. THEN...I kept having these stupid contractions that wouldn't stop.
So...the contractions didn't stop today, and David took me in. They were all the tale-tale signs. But they sent me home dilated and effaced 70%. The contractions slowed down....so there was no need for labor today. :) The contractions were not strong enough to send me to full term labor. See...I'm paranoid. I will keep walking around this way until he actually comes. That is so crazy to me.
I may continue to be paranoid...but I will remember to not sweat the small stuff and keep counting my blessings. They greatly outweigh the misfortune. :)
Here are a few pics from our baby showers:
Every time I start feeling sorry for myself thinking about how much time I've already spent in the hospital, or how I don't have enough days left at work to make it a full maternity leave, or how bad I feel having these little or sometimes big contractions all day long. (The doctor said I will probably just have these until I deliver). I am reminded how blessed I am daily. Our baby boy is still healthy, and may go full term. I am surrounded by so many people that have showered us with love, support, help and baby gifts. I have no reason to feel sorry for myself, but I should be praising God for the blessings in my life.
With that said there were several times today that I thought it was the delivery day. I think I'm becoming more paranoid with every minute. Maybe it's because I keep having contractions, or maybe it is because one of my friends delivered her baby at home this week. (Not on purpose by the way). So I'm becoming more paranoid the closer the due date gets. (March 29th)
The first sign I thought I had in the car. I was driving home and felt this rush of water running down my seat. I thought...wow this is it. My water just broke in the car...but then I thought this can't be enough. I look to my right and see that my water bottle has spilled pouring water all in my lap. I couldn't stop laughing. So false alarm #1 for today. THEN...I kept having these stupid contractions that wouldn't stop.
So...the contractions didn't stop today, and David took me in. They were all the tale-tale signs. But they sent me home dilated and effaced 70%. The contractions slowed down....so there was no need for labor today. :) The contractions were not strong enough to send me to full term labor. See...I'm paranoid. I will keep walking around this way until he actually comes. That is so crazy to me.
I may continue to be paranoid...but I will remember to not sweat the small stuff and keep counting my blessings. They greatly outweigh the misfortune. :)
Here are a few pics from our baby showers:
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Looking Good
Well...things are looking good. Fletcher is still cooking and I'm the same. The doctor told me on Monday that I could start trying a little more around the house. So...I did some laundry and made some pancakes for dinner last night. :) I had to sit down pretty often, but it got done. I go back to the doctor on Monday (the 21st) and if things are the same I may be able to go back to work on Tuesday. That will put us at the 34 week mark. He is still healthy and growing, so if he comes...he comes. :)I am a little nervous about going back to work, but I know I'll have tons of support. My students are going to be pretty surprised about how big my stomach has gotten over the last four weeks. I mean think about how traumatizing it could be for a freshmen boy if his teacher's water breaks in class. :) But...at least he may have a cool story to tell his friends. Let's pray no one has to experience that.
Thanks to the help of my mom, dad, sister, and brother in law...our crib is up, furniture is arranged somewhat, and the walls are painted. That is all we really need to bring him home, right? We can make it cute later. :) We will be working on it a little bit at a time. I still can't do much for very long so it may be a slow process. (or I'll just watch other people do it for me) Thanks to my grandmother, Aunt, and Uncle we have a pack and play and car seat if all else fails. :)
I'm getting more excited everyday to meet our little boy. David and I were talking the other night about some things we want to teach our son. After David got through his usual sarcasm and ridiculous statements. (If you know him at all you know what I'm talking about). He said if I could leave him with anything it would be that God is love and treat people like they are more important than you are. These are such simple things that I don't always do a good job of. I'm so thankful I have a husband that chooses to not only teach these things but try everyday to live these things. We fail...yes...but having this baby has made us more aware of our attitude about the simple and complicated things in life. We have great examples in our family to follow, and hopefully we can do the same thing for our little guy.
Thanks to the help of my mom, dad, sister, and brother in law...our crib is up, furniture is arranged somewhat, and the walls are painted. That is all we really need to bring him home, right? We can make it cute later. :) We will be working on it a little bit at a time. I still can't do much for very long so it may be a slow process. (or I'll just watch other people do it for me) Thanks to my grandmother, Aunt, and Uncle we have a pack and play and car seat if all else fails. :)
I'm getting more excited everyday to meet our little boy. David and I were talking the other night about some things we want to teach our son. After David got through his usual sarcasm and ridiculous statements. (If you know him at all you know what I'm talking about). He said if I could leave him with anything it would be that God is love and treat people like they are more important than you are. These are such simple things that I don't always do a good job of. I'm so thankful I have a husband that chooses to not only teach these things but try everyday to live these things. We fail...yes...but having this baby has made us more aware of our attitude about the simple and complicated things in life. We have great examples in our family to follow, and hopefully we can do the same thing for our little guy.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
We will get to meet our son.
Well...We are a week closer to meeting our Fletcher James Hunt, and we still want him to just hang out a few more weeks. I've been overwhelmed by the help of my husband and family in this entire process. I mean I knew I had a great family, and that I married well. But, they have been such a blessing in taking me to appointments, making sure I don't go crazy, and keeping my stress level down. Probably because they know how much I stress about little things. :) I don't know what I would do without them right now.
Just to prove how great David has been, I have been keeping a picture diary of all the yummy food he has been cooking me. He likes to cook, so that helps, but check out these yummy dishes.
This isn't even all of them. Just the pictures I have. :)
Miranda has been busy picking out stuff for our nursery. I'm so glad she has good taste. Even if I wasn't on bed rest...I probably wouldn't be much help. :) She is much better at that than I am.
I went to the doctor this afternoon and things are the same. Still contracting, but I haven't dilated any more and that is a good thing. We are really going to reevaluate everything next week and see what she thinks I can do???? Maybe the same, but I hope not.
I've become very aware about how God is teaching me to be patient and not to want things in this world. I was so worried that our baby might not come home to a cute nursery or clean house, and all this time God was teaching me it doesn't matter. He may not have the perfect "facebook picture" worthy room by the time he gets here, but it doesn't matter. He has a place to sleep and lots of love.
I love what David told me the other night. He said when I was in the hospital and we really didn't know what was going to happen that he had this overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be okay. He told me it doesn't matter. He just wanted to meet his son. And when I stress out I remind myself of that. David is so right....it doesn't matter...I will get to meet my son. :) That's pretty cool.
Just to prove how great David has been, I have been keeping a picture diary of all the yummy food he has been cooking me. He likes to cook, so that helps, but check out these yummy dishes.
Miranda has been busy picking out stuff for our nursery. I'm so glad she has good taste. Even if I wasn't on bed rest...I probably wouldn't be much help. :) She is much better at that than I am.
I went to the doctor this afternoon and things are the same. Still contracting, but I haven't dilated any more and that is a good thing. We are really going to reevaluate everything next week and see what she thinks I can do???? Maybe the same, but I hope not.
I've become very aware about how God is teaching me to be patient and not to want things in this world. I was so worried that our baby might not come home to a cute nursery or clean house, and all this time God was teaching me it doesn't matter. He may not have the perfect "facebook picture" worthy room by the time he gets here, but it doesn't matter. He has a place to sleep and lots of love.
I love what David told me the other night. He said when I was in the hospital and we really didn't know what was going to happen that he had this overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be okay. He told me it doesn't matter. He just wanted to meet his son. And when I stress out I remind myself of that. David is so right....it doesn't matter...I will get to meet my son. :) That's pretty cool.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Don't try to explain the important things...
" Nothing important is completely explicable." Madeline L'Engle A Circle of QuietI came across this quote as I was searching our bookshelf for something to read. If you have never read Madeline L'Engle, I encourage you to. She has a great series called The Crosswick Journals that are almost like segments from her personal journals at different times in her life. ( I think she would have blogged :) As she struggled through marriage, life, children, and faith her writing is honest and humorous. I was introduced to them by David, as I am most good books, and they have become a staple in our house. When I read this quote over and over I thought it was very applicable to my experience today.
As I said in my earlier post, I want answers for things, and if I don't have the answers I look for ways to find them. That is not always a bad character flaw. But, when dealing with "the big stuff" and especially faith in "the big stuff, answers are not always what we need. We need to find our dependence on others and the desire to be lead by faith and not by sight. I'm really learning about that and working through it. For example, I watched while my husband cleaned the entire house this morning, and it almost killed me. Not because he wasn't doing it right or I thought I could do it better, but HE was doing it while I watched. I needed him to do it, since every time I move my stomach tightens and contractions start, but I don't want him to have to do everything. I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt already that he is doing so much, and I'm just sitting there watching....not critiquing. (I promise David ...okay maybe a little..you did dust the entire house with Clorox Green Works instead of dusting spray. :) But it works, and that is what I realized. No matter what was being dusted with...it works and it is done. I'm really needing to depend on him for so many things right now, and he does everything without even showing a grimace of complaint. (at least to my face anyway).
The same is true with my faith. I want to know why this happened and what I can do to fix it. But...like Madeline L'Engle said, "Nothing important is completely explicable". This is one of those times in my life when I can't explain it away. There is no formula or equation for it to fit into. I need to learn to rely on others and God. Through this everything will work together for His good. So...here we go. I sit...I wait...I learn. I'm a teacher learning should be easy for me, right? Maybe I'm also learning how to be a good student. :)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I'm a blogger
So...I always thought I'll never blog. Nobody cares enough to read what is happening in my life or head. Then I was put on bed rest. I've gone a little crazy the past couple of weeks and thought...well people still probably don't care what is going on in my life or head, but I may need this little blog to get some things off my chest. I know a few people want to know...and it can be good medicine for me in the mean time. So instead of my journal...I will blog. :) Here we go:
I took a little tumble at my soccer tournament in Dallas on January 21. I was coaching or rather driving the bus and hauling girls around (not playing :) There were wonderful soccer moms who took great care of me and sat with me in the hospital while I was given medication to stop contractions I was having because of the fall. David came and picked me up and we headed home. I rested all weekend and felt a little funny, but I thought I was just sore from the fall. I really didn't do much at all. So school as normal on Monday, and then something was weird again. I called my doctor that morning and told her what I was feeling, and she met me at the hospital. They were calling it pre-term labor and started hooking me up to IVs almost immediately to stop contractions. Everyone couldn't believe I drove myself to the hospital...I'm an idiot I know but I didn't know what was happening. I had no idea that my contractions were three minutes apart. I thought I was being a baby really. I got out on Thursday (Jan. 27) and was happy to be at home rather than sitting in the hospital.
I've gone through several different emotions. I've been mad at myself, because I have overwhelming feelings that it is my fault. I've been relived and thankful that our baby boy has been healthy this entire time; he has just tried to come early. I've been angry with myself again. God and I even had it out in the hospital one night when I was confused and emotional all wrapped into one. In the midst of all this, I was reminded that it sucks...yes and it is okay to acknowledge that...but look at everything we have to be thankful for.
1. He is healthy
2. I have the most wonderful husband and family who have done so much for me.
3. I am surrounded by great friends and coworkers who have been praying for us and will help at the drop of the hat.
4. Did I mention our little boy is healthy.
There are people that are going through so much more than we are, and we should be grateful for what we have. If you know me...I'm a person that wants answers and solutions. If I don't have them I will figure out a way to get them. Well...this one may not be that easy. It is a waiting game, and I know God is going to teach me so much through this. Some things can't be explained, and I'm learning that is okay. It's not always my job to figure out the answers anyway.
I took a little tumble at my soccer tournament in Dallas on January 21. I was coaching or rather driving the bus and hauling girls around (not playing :) There were wonderful soccer moms who took great care of me and sat with me in the hospital while I was given medication to stop contractions I was having because of the fall. David came and picked me up and we headed home. I rested all weekend and felt a little funny, but I thought I was just sore from the fall. I really didn't do much at all. So school as normal on Monday, and then something was weird again. I called my doctor that morning and told her what I was feeling, and she met me at the hospital. They were calling it pre-term labor and started hooking me up to IVs almost immediately to stop contractions. Everyone couldn't believe I drove myself to the hospital...I'm an idiot I know but I didn't know what was happening. I had no idea that my contractions were three minutes apart. I thought I was being a baby really. I got out on Thursday (Jan. 27) and was happy to be at home rather than sitting in the hospital.
I've gone through several different emotions. I've been mad at myself, because I have overwhelming feelings that it is my fault. I've been relived and thankful that our baby boy has been healthy this entire time; he has just tried to come early. I've been angry with myself again. God and I even had it out in the hospital one night when I was confused and emotional all wrapped into one. In the midst of all this, I was reminded that it sucks...yes and it is okay to acknowledge that...but look at everything we have to be thankful for.
1. He is healthy
2. I have the most wonderful husband and family who have done so much for me.
3. I am surrounded by great friends and coworkers who have been praying for us and will help at the drop of the hat.
4. Did I mention our little boy is healthy.
There are people that are going through so much more than we are, and we should be grateful for what we have. If you know me...I'm a person that wants answers and solutions. If I don't have them I will figure out a way to get them. Well...this one may not be that easy. It is a waiting game, and I know God is going to teach me so much through this. Some things can't be explained, and I'm learning that is okay. It's not always my job to figure out the answers anyway.
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